I just needed a moment...

Friday started out in good spirits... heck, it was Friday for goodness sake! Who doesn't love Friday, right? ... So, I arrived back to LaCygne Elementary a wee late from my meeting at Parker Elementary. I called the secretary to let the other teacher and the parent I was to be meeting with know I was in town, just a few minutes delayed. Meeting went well. The special ed teacher stayed after a bit to get some information from me and we set up yet another meeting for the following week with another student. I ate a quick lunch. Still feeling on top of my list of things to do... then i opened my email. Now, in a day's time I generally can get upwards of 30 emails throughout the entire district (all 5 schools send me their "all staff" emails) and most of the time those emails have nothing to do with me... today, however, at least a dozen of them were directly asking something of me: meetings set up, conference to attend, IEP paperwork that's to be done, fax this person this paperwork, someone needed to be tested yesterday, etc. etc. ...it just kept going on. So I printed several of the messages so I'd have them on hand. As I'm printing, I looked to my left and see all the students' files in the cabinet, scan a little to the right, I see the pile of paperwork I needed to process to get my refund for the summer class I took, a little more to the right is the printer printing all these additional things I need to do now, my laptop screen is screaming at me with the software to do my paperwork. To my right is my weekly planner (which is nearly completely full and loaded with yellow sticky notes of lists is sitting on top of several more files of kids' testing material yet to be written up and meetings to be held. I turn in my chair around more to the right and see my para working away at the long table which is completely covered, right to left, front to back in stacks of paperwork: piles of IEPs that need signatures, copied, stapled, mailed, many not even finished, etc. etc. To give you another picture, I've already gone through two REAMS of paper, not including copies of those documents used at the copy machine... just from printing out these loads of documents. It was a surreal moment I guess, and I turned back to the computer, whipped off my glasses, covered my eyes with both hands and started sobbing (as quiety as I could). I was trying to hide it from poor Jolene, but she asked me if I was OK... "I'll be alright (sniff, sob)... I just need a moment! (sniff, sob)" I could tell she was worried about me... I think she asked if there was anything she could do??? She said she would go make copies and give me my "moment." I just needed to stop looking at the 270 degree view of tasks yet to be done. I got overwhelmed. I haven't cried about paperwork in, I figure, 8 or 9 years (I've been on the job ALMOST 10 now). So I've decided it's the 8 year cry. I'm good to go for another 8 years now. Oh, and to top off the afternoon... my printer stopped printing. Glad that was AFTER the cry... I might've walked out. Principal and his assistant came to check on the printer and it seems the problem will be easiest fixed if I, like the teachers, got a new laser printer too. (I wasn't on the list for the printers for teachers this year). Could be "two weeks", however.... Um, this is going to be a very LONG two weeks as all my paperwork is due in less than two weeks. Fun times. Wish me luck.